


It's Quiet Uptown

by alltimelilly



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (son is unnamed), Angst, F/M, Female Pronouns for Reader, Minor Character Death, Song fic, bucky and reader have a son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29086836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alltimelilly/pseuds/alltimelilly
Summary: Being married to Bucky Barnes is a rollercoaster, but you're making it work. One day, you have to work and let Bucky have a day with your son, but will you regret it?It's quiet uptown, you'd like it uptown
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	It's Quiet Uptown

**Author's Note:**

> _Originally posted to Tumblr on April 28, 2016_
> 
> This is a song fic based off of It's Quiet Uptown from Hamilton. Also, a few female pronouns were used.

You trusted your husband. Some days it was a great thing, but some- not so much.

You trusted Bucky to watch your thirteen-year-old son and have some fun while you worked with Tony and Bruce on a project they've wanted your help on. You weren't really sure why they wanted _your_ help, but apparently, you're able to help them crack the code.

You considered leaving your son with Bucky with Uncle Steve watching over his shoulder, but it just so happened that Steve was on an emergency mission, so you had to let Bucky watch him alone.

It's been hard to have Bucky in your son's life. After falling in love, getting pregnant, losing Bucky again, and finding out he's not actually dead only to get married again a year later- it's been a roller coaster of emotions, and you weren't sure your son would understand what was going on.

You figured it was probably time to let them have some time together, but you couldn't stop working- so you left them alone.

\---

You, Banner, and Stark decided to take a break from cracking this code no one could seem to get. It was one of the more challenging things you've worked on with the two, but you knew you guys would get it eventually; it just might take a bit longer.

So you walked out to find Natasha and Clint sitting on a couch, and when Natasha saw you, she quickly looked away.

"Oh no, what's going on?" You asked. "Where's Buck?"

Neither of them replied, and you looked to Bruce and Tony, slowly getting more worried.

"Where the hell is Bucky and my son?" You asked again. No answer. "Natasha, Clint, answer me right now!"

"He's on a mission," Clint said quickly- speeding through his words like the Maximoff boy does.

You raised an eyebrow. "So where's my son, then?" You asked.

Natasha shifted in her seat.

"Natasha." You said.

"It was a last-minute mission, and when Bucky mentioned it, he wanted to go so badly." She said quietly.

"Don't say what I think you're gonna say." You told her.

"Bucky gave in to his begging." She whispered.

Your hands formed into fists, and you tried not to get mad. "Where are they?"

"About that...we're working on getting Bucky's tracker back up and running," Clint said.

"Don't worry; we made sure your son was wearing some protection, so he wasn't out getting killed," Natasha added.

You winced at the thought of losing your child- it sounded like hell.

"We'll get back to work on that code another day. Tony, it would be _fantastic_ if you could suit up and go find my dumb husband and irritable son." You said to Tony, and he nodded.

"On it." Tony turned and walked to where his suits were.

A few minutes later, you were sitting with Nat and Clint as Banner headed back to the lab to make sure he wasn't in the way.

Tony had left the tower, heading to where Bucky was expected to be.

Clint and Natasha were able to get communications working again, and Steve's voice was heard.

"Stark, Stark, you there?" Steve rang through. "We have a problem."

"What's the problem?" Tony asked.

"He's hit," Steve said, breathing heavy, and Bucky was heard in the background swearing up a storm.

Your heart dropped. "I'll pick him up and get him back to the tower as quickly as possible. Tell Banner to be prepared, Barton." Tony said, and Clint stood up quickly and ran up the steps.

Natasha tried to calm you down, but it wasn't working. There was nothing that would settle you down unless your son was one-hundred percent okay.

Tony flew back into the tour minutes later, and he rushed your son up to his lab- from what you could see, he was bloody, and probably out cold. You could only imagine the worst.

Bucky and Steve arrived back in a quinjet, and Bucky had a look of pain on his face when he saw you. You walked over to him, fists clenched.

"What were you thinking!" You yelled at him, and Steve quickly moved out of the way.

"He just wanted to see what was going on," Bucky explained. "Steve said it wasn't protected, and he just needed some help investigating- so I let him come along."

"Oh, but let me guess: there were some secret spies, and they came and attacked all three of you? Including our son who has sparred once and only for a good laugh?" You glared. "It took a while to accept having you in his life...and now he's hurt!" You yelled, getting attention from everyone in the room.

"I know what I did!" Bucky yelled back. "It was a stupid decision, and I shouldn't have let him come! _I'm sorry!_ " He said.

"Is saying sorry going to make sure he lives through this?" You said, not even looking at him anymore.

"No, no, no, no," You heard from the lab. Both you and Bucky ran up the stairs and into the lab, only to see Bruce and Tony scrambling around the table your son was on and freaking out about something.

"What's going on?" You asked, getting no response.

Then, both of them stopped running. "What time is it?" Bruce asked.

"No," You said. "No!" This time was louder. You ran over to the table and looked at your son. His skin pale, his arm gashed, and a lot of blood loss.

"I'm sorry we couldn't do anything." Tony sighed.

You ran out of the room crying, and into Steve's arms, not even glancing at Bucky.

\---

Six months without your son has been worse hell than anything you have ever experienced. Your son made you happy, he knew what would make you smile, and even though he was a teenager, he loved to spend time with you.

You decided you couldn't stay in New York much longer, but didn't want to live alone, and you didn't want to see Bucky any time soon. Technically, you guys were still married, as you won't even talk to him about anything at this point.

So, Clint offered to let you stay in the house with him and his family, especially since with three kids and him always being gone, Laura needed some help. Sure, having Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel around helped cope a little, but you still missed your son dearly.

You've talked with a few of your friends from New York, but you haven't even said a single word to Bucky since you left, and you weren't planning on it. You blame him for your son's death; that's a pretty good reason not to talk to him.

You woke up to find Steve standing in the Barton house with Clint talking with him, Laura in the kitchen with Lila and Cooper asking about breakfast. Quickly following, the baby monitor sounded, and Clint ran upstairs to calm Nathaniel. Steve saw you and smiled, walking over to hug you.

"I was hoping to find you here," Steve told you.

"Where else would I be? I like it here, Laura is awesome, and the kids love me!" You laughed, trying to joke. "I guess Clint is okay."

"It's been a while. How have you been?" Steve asked.

You shrugged. "Trying to cope." You said quietly. "What are you here for?"

"Well, I had come to see Barton for something and knew you'd be here. But I also needed to talk to you." He explained. You looked in the kitchen to see Lila looking back at you and Steve with big eyes.

"Let's talk outside." You said, and Steve nodded, following you out the door.

"Talk, 'murica." You smiled.

"Ever since you left, Bucky has been beating himself up," Steve said, carefully.

"Of course he has- he killed my son!" You shot.

"I'm not here to talk you into getting back with him," Steve said. "I just want to show you that he's been, well, just look." Steve pulled out a notebook from the bag he was holding and handed it to you.

The notebook was black and worn, falling apart in some places, with 'Bucky' written on the front. You have Steve a weary look, and he urged you to open it. So you did.

_Entry one_

_I wish she knew that I cared about him so much more than she thought. He told me not to tell her that when she was working, we'd hang out sometimes. "Don't tell mom; she doesn't want me to be with you." He'd say. We would walk around town along the streets, talking about random things. He seemed to like silence, too, so we would go to his favorite spot. After his passing, I have visited that spot often and sit in the quiet. I never liked the quiet before._

_Entry two_

_I went uptown today- it's different. Much more quiet than the middle of NY. He would have liked it uptown, it's quiet. I miss him so much, and I miss her. I just want to talk to her._

_Entry three_

_She's still at the Barton farm, but I can't bring myself to see her. I'm afraid I'll make it worse if I see her. I don't want to make it worse._

You read a bit more, and you didn't realize that you had some tears going down your cheeks.

_Entry fifty-four_

_Gosh, I'm so stupid. Why did I ever think it would have been a good idea to take him with me? I should have just listened to her and stayed away! He could still be here today! He'd still be with her, and everyone would be happier!_

You closed the book- unable to read more. "Thank you, Steve." You told him. "When do you head back?" You asked.

"Whenever Clint can give me what I need," Steve replied. "Pretty soon, probably."

"Make sure you tell me." You said and walked back into the house.

Steve decided that he was leaving in an hour. Laura fed everyone breakfast and hugged you- asking you a few questions. You told her that you didn't know, and she just nodded.

\---

You walked out with your bag and set it on the jet that Steve came in. Lila and Cooper came running out before you and Steve left to give you both a hug and say their goodbyes. As did Clint, but you knew you'd see him pretty soon.

The ride back to New York was quiet, and you realized that your son really did like the quiet. When he was comfortable with who he was around, he wouldn't ever stop talking, but he really enjoyed his quiet time. It was a nice balance.

You got back to the tower, and Tony was the first one to see the jet. "Cap's back." He called throughout the floor.

"Oh my gosh!" Tony yelled when the door opened, and you walked out. "Look who's back!" And he hugged you.

The few that were paying attention walked over to you and hugged you. You looked over to the couch, only to see Bucky staring at you.

You walked over to him, and he stood up. "I'm sorry." And hugged him, passing him his notebook.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, I have more on my profile and you can check me out on Tumblr [@that-sokovian-bastard](https://that-sokovian-bastard.tumblr.com/)


End file.
